Olivia's kitchen sink
My 2p on the Eurovision Song Contest, for decades cherished as a solitary guilty pleasure, for a bit enjoyed with like-minded lovers of all things camp, and this year forcing myself to listen to all forty-two dreary songs and watch it for old times' sake.
I feel very sorry for Malta. They want to win so badly they more often than not look desperate. 'On Again, Off Again', anyone? My point precisely. So when I heard this year's entry I could not help but notice that they'd trown in all the elements they thought would make a winner: a slow start, some violins, an up-tempo song, a break in the middle, key change, flamenco bits, arabian harmonies, sung in English.
I did not see the semifinal in which they failed to qualify, but saw a recorded bit in the end whey they show a few seconds of each song, and in addition to all the above elements Malta also managed to throw in topless male dancers, singer Olivia Lewis wearing lots of makeup and a long evening dress with a slit, some fan-waving and… a gong! The singer's kitchen sink was mercifully left at home in her beautiful island that I really would not mind visiting again soon (I went twice in the Eighties and it was absolutely spectacular).
In the end, the contest was won by a soberly dressed butch lesbian in a man's suit. The backing singers' were so buttoned up that the only flesh they flashed was from their peep-toe shoes. The song was a ballad. It was sung in Serbo-Croat.
I hear Malta is in talks with k.d. lang to represent it next year.
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