UK-based weblog on technology, queerness, language and fitness

Monthly archive: May 2007

I REALLY should not have watched Whistleblower on supermarkets

Ten days ago I watched the BBC's undercover investigation on lack of basic hygiene in supermarkets.

For the last ten days I have been living on hard-boiled eggs, canned tuna, rolled oats, and assorted fruit and vegetables. Anything with the least amount of human filth added to it.

I can now button up my skinny jeans. Without having to lie on the floor, thank you very much.

I have also protected the programme on the DVR so that I do not erase it by mistake, in case I need a reminder (beach in 7 days, you see).

brawny

Thursday 31 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Strong and muscular. See synonyms at muscular. Hardened; calloused.

Read more about brawny at Answers.com


teem

Wednesday 30 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

To be full of things; abound or swarm. To pour out or empty.

Read more about teem at Answers.com


churn

Tuesday 29 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

The cycle of acquiring new customers and losing others. Firing one group of employees and hiring another.

Read more about churn at Answers.com


fray

Monday 28 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

A scuffle; a brawl. A heated dispute or contest.

Read more about fray at Answers.com


stat

Sunday 27 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

(Short for Latin statim) with no delay; at once.

Read more about stat at Answers.com


irrefragable

Saturday 26 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Impossible to refute or controvert; indisputable: irrefragable evidence.

Read more about irrefragable at Answers.com


profligate

Friday 25 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Given over to dissipation; dissolute. Recklessly wasteful; wildly extravagant.

Read more about profligate at Answers.com


I should not have watched Whistleblower on supermarkets

Thursday 24 May 2007 / food and drink, health and fitness, rants / 1 comment

I have always enjoyed the convenience of supermarket food. However, I have lately started reading labels a bit more thoroughly than just the calories content, and I did not like what I saw.

The other night I got stuck in watching Whistleblower on BBC1 against my better judgement:

For six months, two BBC reporters worked undercover to investigate health and safety issues around food in some of Britain's supermarkets. They find produce beyond its shelf life that's re-labelled and put back on fresh food counters.

Like, we did not already know?

The programme only confirmed what I have always suspected:

  • falsified temperature logs, both for freezers and for core temperature of roast chicken
  • bin bags used to cover meat nightly – and reused for a whole week
  • rats in an area where goods are temporarily stored upon delivery
  • knives and chopping boards casually mixed (raw/cooked meat/fish)
  • 'best before' and 'sell by' dates regularly extended once they expire

A company that supplies leading supermarkets with ready made meals had a vat of onion bajii mix A bucket was dipped regularly into it to pick up the mix and feed it into a machine. The bucket that previously was on the floor. The very same floor that employees walked on after having visited filthy toilets (in a state I've only ever seen in clubs at around 5am) WITHOUT CHANGING THEIR BOOTS OR WASHING THEIR HANDS AFTERWARDS.

Throughout the programme, it was clear that people were instructed to throw away food and observe strict hygiene rules, but either did not have the time to do so because they were understaffed, or could not afford to do so because they had to meet strict performance targets.

Last year Tesco's profits alone were in excess of two billion pounds.

payola

Thursday 24 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Bribery of an influential person in exchange for the promotion of a product or service, such that of disc jockeys for the promotion of records.

Read more about payola at Answers.com


390 metres to win!

Wednesday 23 May 2007 / health and fitness, personal / No comments

Last Thursday night I was about to start dinner when a sudden urge to go running came upon me.

Alright, it's just that after gaining a considerable advantage over Dr B. by running every other day last week in Italy, I would have hated for him to sprint and win our 'Who runs 100km first' Nike + challenge.

So I donned my gear and I stepped out. Two point five kilometres later I was approaching the Houses of Parliament. The Palace of Westminster looked gorgeous, its brownish hue brightened up by the early evening sunset glow, bright against a dark blue/dark grey ominous sky.

I ran past it and back home the long way across Westminster bridge. The Thames looked wide and peaceful, I could see the general direction of home in the distance and as I waved hello to Barcode Vauxhall's security man without stopping (he did not recognise me wearing shorts and a vest, or so I thought but on Friday night he said he did eventually) I thought that London and I have a lot in common. A glorious past. Doing our best to keep up with the times. Curious and hungry for knowledge. And living our more mature years under the illusion that we still have it.

I got home (a little over six kilometres round-trip) and connected my iPod. I waited with anticipation as it uploaded my running data to the Nike + website, then I checked my progress:

  1. bitful: 99.61 km
  2. Dr B.: 90.56 km

390 metres to win! I felt like running out again straight away, to Tesco and back for a celebratory tub of icecream. Instead, I thought I'd give Dr B. a chance to catch up.

Then yesterday I went for a four mile lunchtime run at work – but forgot to connect the receiver so it was not logged!

It's like I do not really want to win…

tachypsychia

Wednesday 23 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Neurological condition that distorts the perception of time, usually induced by physical exertion, drug use, or a traumatic event.

Read more about tachypsychia at Answers.com


def

Tuesday 22 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

(slang) Excellent; first-rate.

Read more about def at Answers.com


straightedge

Monday 21 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

A rigid flat rectangular bar, as of wood or metal, with a straight edge for testing or drawing straight lines.

Read more about straightedge at Answers.com


pro bono

Sunday 20 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Done without compensation for the public good.

Read more about pro bono at Answers.com


persnickety

Saturday 19 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

(also pernickety) Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious. Snobbish; pretentious.

Read more about persnickety at Answers.com


Chris Garneau – Music For Tourists

Friday 18 May 2007 / gay, music, rants / No comments

After what has been known as 'The Mika Incident' (I wowed the album for all of three days, then grew so tired of its repetitive songs and Scissor Sisters rip-off that even a fleeting glimpse of Mr Penniman's bouncy curls made me jump with all my weight on the 'Skip' button), I swore that I would never again acquire music solely on grounds of the artist being gay (which, incidentally, Mika has never said he was, claiming that it does not matter).

Well, guess what? Mika is right. It does not matter.

And yet, I fell for it again. Enter 24-year-old openly gay Chris Garneau. A role model. Too bad his album is absolutely not my cup of tea at all. Whispered piano ballads, one after the other, no less than fourteen of them. Turns out the only thing we have in common is our sexual orientation.

The other night while I was preparing dinner I made a point of listening to his whole album, out of respect. After all, the young man has released a record, whereas it's a major event if I manage to win my laziness long enough to post two days in a row here.

By song four I was contemplating using the kitchen knife for a much less culinary purpose than chopping tomatoes.

By song eight even Anthony and the Johnsons sounded thigh-slapping ha-ha funny in comparison.

I struggled to get to the end and I finally had to stop the last song half way through because I heard Dr B.'s key in the lock and I did not want him to think that I was killing dinner with my own bare hands (instead of simply frying it).

And by the way, those tomatoes? Imported by Tesco from 'sunny' Poland. Go figure.

dearth

Friday 18 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

A scarce supply; a lack. Shortage of food; famine.

Read more about dearth at Answers.com


British Sandwich Week 2007

Man-shaped salt and pepper shakers

We are in the middle of British Sandwich Week 2007.

Unfortunately, we are also in the middle of our 'ZOMFG we only have three weeks to squeeze back into last year's swimsuits' week. There's no way I'm buying a larger size. I mean, my trunks were loose last year!

I know a sandwich can be a very healthy and nutritious meal with little calories and low fat.

However, you will beg to differ too if you had ever witnessed me transform a 400g pack of sliced bread, one of cheese singles and ten slices of ham into five sandwiches with the same ease a professional dealer shuffles a deck of cards – and then make them disappear into thin air in a matter of seconds.

[stares dreamily into the distance]

Right, we were saying? Ah, yes: trunks, diet.

:-(

initialism

Thursday 17 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

An abbreviation consisting of the first letter or letters of words in a phrase (for example, IRS for Internal Revenue Service), syllables or components of a word (TNT for trinitrotoluene), or a combination of words and syllables (ESP for extrasensory perception) and pronounced by spelling out the letters one by one rather than as a solid word.

Read more about initialism at Answers.com


bumf

Wednesday 16 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

[Short for bum fodder] Printed matter, such as pamphlets, forms, or memorandums, especially of an official nature and deemed of little interest or importance. Toilet paper.

Read more about bumf at Answers.com


Olivia's kitchen sink

Tuesday 15 May 2007 / music, rants / No comments

My 2p on the Eurovision Song Contest, for decades cherished as a solitary guilty pleasure, for a bit enjoyed with like-minded lovers of all things camp, and this year forcing myself to listen to all forty-two dreary songs and watch it for old times' sake.

I feel very sorry for Malta. They want to win so badly they more often than not look desperate. 'On Again, Off Again', anyone? My point precisely. So when I heard this year's entry I could not help but notice that they'd trown in all the elements they thought would make a winner: a slow start, some violins, an up-tempo song, a break in the middle, key change, flamenco bits, arabian harmonies, sung in English.

I did not see the semifinal in which they failed to qualify, but saw a recorded bit in the end whey they show a few seconds of each song, and in addition to all the above elements Malta also managed to throw in topless male dancers, singer Olivia Lewis wearing lots of makeup and a long evening dress with a slit, some fan-waving and… a gong! The singer's kitchen sink was mercifully left at home in her beautiful island that I really would not mind visiting again soon (I went twice in the Eighties and it was absolutely spectacular).

In the end, the contest was won by a soberly dressed butch lesbian in a man's suit. The backing singers' were so buttoned up that the only flesh they flashed was from their peep-toe shoes. The song was a ballad. It was sung in Serbo-Croat.

I hear Malta is in talks with k.d. lang to represent it next year.

dewlap

Tuesday 15 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

A fold of loose skin hanging from the neck of certain animals. A fold of loose skin hanging from the neck of a person.

Read more about dewlap at Answers.com


borstal

Monday 14 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Rehabilitation method formerly used in Great Britain for delinquent boys aged 16 to 21.

Read more about borstal at Answers.com


swag

Sunday 13 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

An ornamental drapery or curtain draped in a curve between two points. Promotional items, especially when given for free, considered as a group.

Read more about swag at Answers.com


ballyhoo

Saturday 12 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Sensational or clamorous advertising or publicity. Noisy shouting or uproar.

Read more about ballyhoo at Answers.com


Sequins and key changes and a whiff of the souk

Saturday 12 May 2007 / gay, music / No comments

From the ages of 7 to 17 I proudly was the one and only Italian following the Eurovision Song Contest. When I say 'proudly' I mean instead 'scared gutless worrying that there must be something wrong with me.

Italy stopped broadcasting the live show long before stopping taking part, but I kept watching it on Slovenian and Croatian TV channels.

Then I moved abroad, and lo and behold, I found out I was not the only one! Needless to say, all the other fans I met were either gay or Icelandic (or both).

We previewed the songs. We had parties. We filled in scoresheets. We debated, discussed and showed outrage at the blatant regional voting.

Last year I made it to the host country for the first time, and I had a hell of a great time with a bunch of friends at the live event in Athens.

This year I listened to the songs in disbelief, and I instantly knew that it was not for me. I feel a bit like a fraud, like I've betrayed my own self.

You know how sometimes you wish you could go back and tell your teenage self 'Do not worry; everything will turn out alright'? Well, I wish I could tell him 'Go and listen to some decent music ferchrissakes!"

Having said that, tomorrow I'm going to a Eurovision Song Contest party. I have no idea who got through from last night's semifinal (my wild guess is all the former Eastern bloc countries voted each other through). I've got a feeling there's going to be a lot of Flying Your Fag (For You). I cannot wait.

Running away from tomorrow's 'Family Day'

Friday 11 May 2007 / gay, rants, travel / No comments

Tomorrow Italian catholic groups are staging a national rally against civil partnerships and in support of traditional families.

That is, if you have not got a mummy and a daddy (or have more than one), or if you happen to shack up with someone of the same sex, you are made to feel like scum.

I cleverly booked my flight to leave and go back home tomorrow. I hate feeling not welcome.

sasquatch

Friday 11 May 2007 / word of the day / No comments
An old dictionary

Generic name for the "bigfoot" of North America (meaning "hairy man" in the Halkomelem language of British Columbia in Canada)

Read more about sasquatch at Answers.com


Italian doctors are thorough but slow

Thursday 10 May 2007 / health and fitness, personal, rants, travel / 1 comment

I've been in Italy for the last few days to see my mother who is in hospital.

It is very hard to say whether it is serious or not; she had been losing a considerable amount of blood through her faeces and was taken into hospital to receive some blood transfusions and to undergo a series of tests.

The hospital is new, clean and more than adequately staffed. The doctors sound competent and are very thorough. They think they might have found some trivial skin growth near her 72-year-old appendix scar that could be the origin if the bleeding, but they need more tests to confirm.

Unfortunately, for some reason to us unknown, the tests are performed one week apart. This means that today is the start of her fourth week in hospital.

And because she only just had cataract surgery, she cannot read, do crosswords or crochet, so all she does all day is lie in semi-darkness, pray, and drink pint after pint of water to prepare her bowels for another test.

Her rosary beads – and her patience – are by now nearly worn out.