Monthly archive: March 2007

Indurated clay.

Read more about clunch at Answers.com

I recently abandoned my old NHS dentist (near my old address, therefore impractical) for a private practice (in the next building from my office, therefore just perfect).

Old dentist:

• Tatty lino floor
• Unexpected step at the front door. Mind the step sign should also say 'Mind your head if over 5ft 11in tall' – the most idiotic front door I've ever seen. Ouch
• Toilet not cleaned in a long time
• Receptionist doubles up as assistant and leaves you to hold your own suction tube when the phone rings
• Five weeks before being seen

New dentist:

• Apple widescreen display in reception which only purpose is to illustrate the services offered in the practice
• I can book and change appointments online, and get email reminders when I am due to go back
• Plenty of helpful, relaxed, smiling staff
• Called on a Tuesday, had my first appointment three days later
• It is a private practice but it also offers NHS treatments at NHS prices

So where's the catch?

To cover or smear with a soft adhesive substance such as plaster, grease, or mud. To apply paint or colouring with crude, unskilful strokes.

Read more about daub at Answers.com

"If you saw a man drowning and you could either save his life or photograph the event… how would you tag it in Flickr?"

Kathy Sierra at SXSW Interactive, via Christine.net.

Just one of those things that friends email me at regular intervals and never cease to amaze me.

Please read these aloud and see if you can get them right the first time:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

A tough supple twig, especially of willow, used for binding things together; a withy.

Read more about withe at Answers.com

I love cheese. I adore bread. I go gaga for a sharp taste.

This is why the most common meal round here is some combination of these three elements.

Ciabatta, ham and a squirt of Daddy sauce.

In France I used to have the classic baguette, gruyère and gherkins sandwich.

Cheddar and sliced tomatoes on doorstop white bread.

But, more often than not, any sliced bread with any sliced cheese – and lots of houmous.

I call it Trinity. And it is just perfect.

Ingredients

• Bread, any type
• Cheese, any kind
• Something tasting sharp

Preparation

1. Slice bread if in a loaf
2. Spread something sharp-tasting on a slice of bread
3. Slice cheese
4. Put cheese on sharp-tasting element on bread
5. Cover with another slice of bread

Bread + cheese + houmous = Trinity, originally uploaded by bitful.

Back-seat screwdriver: a person giving advice to someone assembling furniture.

Origin: Dr B., the other day, as he politely discarded my unsolicited advice while he was painstakingly putting together three new tall Ikea chests of drawers for our bedroom.

A window set vertically into a small gable projecting from a sloping roof.

Read more about dormer at Answers.com

1. The common UK stamps (queeny profile, single colour) are called 'machins'. They were designed by Arnold Machin and first introduced on 5 June 1967.
2. The soundtrack to the TV series Heroes was composed by mid-eighties Prince proteges Wendy and Lisa.
3. Windows Media Player automatically disables plugins every time it crashes. So all of last week I really did listen to music on the computer, contrary to what bitful on last.fm says.
4. One of the songs on the Pet Shop Boys album Fundamental is called Indefinite Leave to Remain. I only noticed now that I am going to apply for it.
5. Interlingua is an International Auxiliary Language, but it is naturalistic (most features are extracted from widely spread Western Indo-European languages) unlike Esperanto which is systematic (highly schematicised).
6. Dominique Fidanza (formerly of Italian popstars-created group Lollipop) was runner-up on Star Académy 6 in France. It's as if Kym Marsh went on American Idol.
7. Streetcar is incredibly easy to use. You sign up, and receive a smart card. When you need a car, you check and reserve online, even minutes before you need it, then go and pick it up (there are a few locations a few minutes' walk from us). You unlock the car with your smart card, use it, get some fuel in paying with a card that bills Streetcar directly, then park it back where you found it and lock it with you card. We used it on Wednesday night and found it so hassle-free that we will definitely use it again soon. Worth it for short day trips, where it beats a traditional car-rental daily tariff, without the pain of having to pick up and return the car across town.

Six years ago to the day, I published my first post via Blogger. Bitful was but a twinkle in my eye, and this had a different title, a lurid muted green and maroon colour scheme (I called it 'Gucci'), way too many personal details and pictures. It was also kept an absolute secret from everyone I knew.

At the time I had returned to live in Italy after three years in the UK and six in France. I knew perfectly well that moving back had been one of the worst decisions in my life, but stubbornly wanted so much to make it work. The internet kept me alive, gave me support but most importantly showed me what I was missing – which I suppose made it worse

I blogged sporadically between March and August 2001, until during a trip to the States I opened my eyes and decided to leave Italy, this time for good, and make my home in the UK. If you know me, you'll understand there is a logic behind it.

So, if you enjoy broken links from six years ago and broken English from my old clearly demented self (in one post I even claim Matthew McConaughey is not my type – as if!), you can read the lost pre-Bitful archives.

As usual, nothing personal. Or is there?

Any of several annual weeds of the genus Xanthium in the composite family, having small seedlike fruits enclosed within a prickly bur that clings readily to clothing or animal fur.

Read more about cocklebur at Answers.com

I have not read it myself, but according to an article in the Guardian on The Truth About Diamonds, Nicole Richie's novel is the story of

'a fashion-obsessed young girl, Chloe, adopted by a pop star who was big in the 1980s, who grows up in LA with a fast group of friends, develops a heroin problem and is cast in a reality TV show with a spoilt heiress who once lost her mobile phone (as Hilton did last year), probably just to get attention from the papers, and makes sex videos of herself with various boyfriends, another Hilton habit. "There are a lot of people like that," Richie insists. "And Chloe is not me."'

Oh, ok then. If Nicole says so.

Rrright.

For a few days now I have been thinking of a gay establishment of yore, and I can't remember what it was called for the life of me.

It used to be in St Martin's Lane in London, a few doors down from Brief Encounter (which by the way is still there, but seems to be closed these days, at least judging by the looks of it when I walk by).

As far as I can remember this bar was one long and fairly wide room, with some sort of industrial design i.e. plenty of corrugated steel.

It might have been called The Hangar (?) and it used to be open around 1992-ish.

Can anyone help? This is really bugging me.

A short nail with a thick head used to protect the soles of shoes or boots.

Read more about hobnail at Answers.com

A long time ago, on a long winter night with nothing on the telly, Dr B. and I engaged in a moderately heated argument about why one says: "the United States is" and not "the United States are.

I insisted that grammatically it should take the plural, but the singular is used only because they can be seen as an entity. The subject is 'states', it is plural, and 'united' is just an adjective.

Dr B. claimed that it takes the singular because what is understood is "the United States of America", and America is singular. But I might mis-remember, given how long ago it was.

Any thoughts?

Ever since I moved back to the UK in May 2002 to settle down for good, it was my strong intention to apply for naturalisation. Ever since then, I have a filled naturalisation application form from the Home Office ready in a folder, waiting for the day when I can finally apply.

However, between then and now, the rules have changed a few times, and it is rather unsettling. It's as if, uhm, the UK would not want me here, like.

The following information is from the Indefinite Leave to Remain article on Wikipedia (yes, I know, it's Wikipedia, but as it summarises changes in the law, it's easily verifiable – I hope):

• Prior to 1 October 2000, EU citizens were deemed to be permanent residents immediately upon taking up residence in the UK.
• Between 2 October 2000 and 29 April 2006, a EU citizen could be granted permanent residence on application after four years resident in the United Kingdom, and could apply for naturalisation after five years (or three years if married to a UK citizen).
• From April 2006, Indefinite Leave to Remain can be applied for after five years residency, and must be held for at least one year before applying for naturalisation.
• I used to be proud of the fact that my British degree automatically proved my knowledge of English. The exemption has been removed, and I will have to sit through the compulsory Life in the UK test that was introduced in October 2005.
• Last week, UK Chancellor Gordon Brown argued that immigrants must earn citizenship declared that it is 'right to consider asking men and women seeking citizenship to undertake some community work in our communities'.
• Yesterday there were talks of plans to stop illegal immigrants getting housing, healthcare or work, including a proposal to run a pilot scheme to send text messages reminding people not to overstay their visas.

I am now by law an Italian national and a temporary resident in the UK. Even if I do obtain Indefinite Leave to Remain, it can be curtailed by the Home Secretary for reasons of national security, and will be lost if I leave the UK for more than 2 years. And in any case, Indefinite Leave to Remain does not constitute a formal Right of Abode in the United Kingdom.

I have elected the glorious shores of Albion to provide the peaceful setting for the rest of my life. The UK is my home now, it always will be and I want to feel that nothing can come between it and myself. At the moment nothing and nobody can force me to leave it, but you never know. An idiotic war? The EU splitting up? A new law in Italy withdrawing the right to travel from all citizens born on a Saturday?

So I am applying for Indefinite Leave to Remain this coming May, with a view to applying for naturalisation in May 2008. Although something tells me the rules are going to be made tougher and tougher on several occasions between now and then.

The head of government of the Republic of Ireland and the leader of the Irish cabinet, the rough equivalent of a prime minister.

Read more about taoiseach at Answers.com

I have given up eating between 11pm and 7am for Lent.

So now it has been two weeks since I vowed to break my life-long habit of eating during the night.

In two weeks, only once did I eat something between the times of 11pm and 7am, and that was an apple, and that night I could not sleep because I had a flu, and a headache that I thought was due to hunger.

And then that night I had a flu, a headache and a stomach ache.

But yet, two whole weeks! I am baffled.

Week after week, my musical taste is subjected to harsh criticism by Dr B.'s delicate aural sense, and I always find it disconcerting.

I played Mika. I was told to switch that annoying falsetto off. During my early and short-lived infatuation with Life In Cartoon Motion, I was outraged. In the long run, I cannot but agree: the kid is bright but annoying and once the novelty wears off, you realise there is not much substance in his songs to sustain interest.

I believed Norah Jones's latest was going to be the perfect soundtrack to our very first meal at our new dining table. I must admit I did not check first, I put it on blindly purely on the basis of her previous releases. I was told to turn whining woman down (to zero, possibly). Once again, he had a point; there's a strumming quality in Not Too Late that becomes grating after a bit.

I put on old Air CDs and thought it was a safe bet. Dr B. likes Moon Safari and adores Talkie Walkie. Nope. Did not go down too well. But… but I would have bet he'd like it!

Just Jack was quickly dismissed as the bastard child of Robbie Williams and The Streets.

So the other day he asked me what we were listening to and I defensively replied 'Zoot Woman, why, do I need to turn it off?'

Imagine my surprise when he said 'No, I quite like it'.

So, electronic rock rates high in his books. Well, that's a start.

Intoxicated; drunk.

Read more about squiffy at Answers.com

A couple of weeks ago I was browsing through the Clinique counter at John Lewis, knowing very well that I could not really afford anything. But you see, the thing is that since I turned forty, I started feeling I should take care of myself a little more.

Bubbly American Julissa sensed it and approached me discreetly, making sure I knew that if I needed help she would be around, then stepped back to pretend to tidy up the already immaculate make-up counter.

I usually get horribly put off by sales persons approaching me; Julissa, however, had the most marvellous smile I'd seen on these shores, and I gave in: I asked if one of their products had a sun screen.

From that moment on, she was on a roll with her skilfully mastered show of tailored persuasion and basic psychology, all wrapped up with genuine warmth and what I believe was passion for her job. If I am wrong and she could not give a fig about her customers, she is even better than I give her credit for. I was convinced she had taken a liking to me.

The only instance where the glossy veneer threatened to crack slightly was when she casually mentioned another cream, but quickly discarded it with a light-hearted little laugh by saying that it's anti-ageing, therefore not suitable for me quite yet. I knew it was a very diplomatic way to check whether I was interested. I did not react. Our eyes met and locked for a split second. She knew I knew, and the game might have ended there.

Instead, she chose that very moment to reveal the ace up her white coat sleeve, a lotion she said she was sure was perfect for me. Light and non-greasy, nourishing yet invisible. And, at 19 pound 50 for a 100ml tube, the best value for money out of everything I had seen.

She had also worked out that I am a cheapskate.

Oh, and the M Gel-Lotion itself is so good I keep stroking my silky smooth face for a while after I've put it on in the morning. Really.

• Lakisha Jones, American Idol finalist;
• Laquisha Jonz, 'queen of the chavs'.

A circular, domed, portable tent used by nomadic peoples of central Asia.

Read more about yurt at Answers.com

Any of various gnatlike flies of the family Chironomidae, found worldwide and frequently occurring in swarms near ponds and lakes. A little person.

Read more about midge at Answers.com

This was one of Jamie Oliver's ads for Sainsbury's in which he effortlessly throws a couple of unusual ingredients together, it looks scrumptuous and it ends with him repeating the campaign's slogan 'Try something new'.

We tried. And liked. So much so in fact that we had this every single week (on Monday night, which is The Scarsdale Diet's 'fish or shellfish' night) until the mere mention of the word 'tuna' made us slightly queasy.

Ingredients

• 1 thick fresh tuna steak per person
• Fresh coriander
• Fresh ginger
• Garlic
• Olive oil
• Balsamic vinegar
• Salt and pepper

Preparation

1. Chop coriander roughly
2. Chop ginger and garlic finely
3. Mix coriander, ginger, garlic, oil, vinegar, salt and pepper together into a marinade
4. Pour marinade on tuna steaks and ensure they are fully covered
5. Cover and put in fridge to marinate for at least half an hour (over an hour if possible)
6. Sear in hot pan on both sides making sure not to overcook
7. Serve with a mixed side salad

Past tense and a past participle of shoe: to furnish or fit with a shoe or shoes; to cover with a wooden or metal guard to protect against wear.

Read more about shod at Answers.com

1. Actor Mark Gatiss (The League of Gentlemen, Nighty Night, Fear of Fanny) wrote two of my favourite Doctor Who episodes (The Idiot's Lantern and The Unquiet Dead)
2. The hymn Amazing Grace was written by a reformed slave trader.
3. All major operating systems ship with the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard in addition to the standard QWERTY layout.
4. Peter Jackson is producing Dambusters, a remake of the 1954 film The Dam Busters. It is still unknown whether Nigger the dog will be renamed for political correctness.
5. For a glass of wine to correspond to one unit of alcohol, the glass must hold 125ml and the wine 8% proof. Pubs usually serve 160ml glasses of 11 to 13% proof wine, totalling two units. How to calculate alcohol units in your drink: multiply the volume in ml by the ABV (alcohol by volume) and divide by 1000. For example, a 25ml shot of 40% vodka contains 25 times 40 divided by 1000 = 1 alcohol unit.
6. Japanese nouns do not have a plural form but require a complex system of counters. Counters are also used in English for uncountable nouns, when you say 'three pats of butter' or 'two cups of water'.
7. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was written by James Bond creator Ian Fleming.

To castrate (a horse, for example). To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken.

Read more about geld at Answers.com

As I coughed the best part of my small intestines up through mucopurulent lungs this afternoon at work, I spared a not-so-compassionate thought for smokers who have a cold.

That's when it hit me: I stopped smoking four years and four days ago, and the anniversary of one of the best decisions in my life went completely overlooked.

I used to light up on average thirty times a day (less on a weekday, more on a night out), which means that over the course of four years I have:

• not smoked approximately 43,800 cigarettes;
• not spent approximately 10,950 pounds;
• not driven away with my stinky breath exactly one boyfriend.