The kitchen is closed: weeks 4 and 5
I have given up eating between 11pm and 7am for Lent.
I forgot to update last week, or better there was nothing to update. Week four went without a glitch.
Not so week five, I'm afraid. It was all going well until, on Monday night, I was feeling a bit tense and in need to wind down, so instead of going to bed straight away I sat in front of the TV, turned it on and started following the story of Bethany, the 34-stone teenager. One stone is about 6.5 kilos (or 14 pounds). Can't be arsed to multiply for you, sorry. Oh, alright then: 34 stone is 476 pounds, or about 216 kilograms.
Half an hour into the documentary, I looked at the clock (half past eleven) and bit into an apple. I knew I was not going to kid myself with that, so pretty quickly I gave in to the siren song of a left-over bag of tortilla crisps that was calling from the kitchen cupboard. And then two packets of udon noodles. Raw. Well, pre-cooked probably, but cold and congealed together.
And then, just when Bethany was presented with 96 packets of lard that represented half the weight she had shed during the year following her stomach being stapled to one tenth of its normal size, I finally called it a day and went to bed with a happy tummy.
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