Monthly archive: February 2007

So four years ago I made a tiramisu for my first Valentine's dinner with Dr B.

We had a portion each after dinner and put the rest away. A couple of days later he sent me the following email:

From: Dr B.
To: bitful
Sent: Sun 16/02/2003 12:35
Subject: Can you help the police with their enquiries?

The metropolitan police are reporting that the 'tiramisu' thief has struck again in East London during the early hours of Sunday morning. For the first time ever the thief has been caught in the act on 2 hidden CCTV cameras that had only recently been installed on the premises.

Do you recognise the thief?

If so give please phone the police on 020 **** **** as soon a possible. A reward of a great big kiss is available.

Four years after to the day, and I still feel emotional reading this email. It was one of the first of many many signs that were telling me that was the man for me, the one I had been hoping to meet for such a long time.

To walk or progress with a slow heavy pace; plod. To work diligently for long hours.

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You know what? I've been struck by the perfectionist's procrastinating bug again, where all I had to do instead is simply say that my fortieth birthday present from Dr B. was the best I have ever received. Well, perhaps I should say 'after the gift of life for which I will eternally be grateful to my parents', but last time I checked my mother could not read English so there you go.

Dr B. said he thought about getting me a new computer for my birthday. My laptop is still OK but could do with being replaced. However, when I saw how much more I could get for the same price if I got a desktop machine, my concerns about bulkiness were immediately blown away.

And so on Saturday we came home with a box containing:

• Intel Pentium D 915 Dual Core Processor
• 2.8GHz, 800MHz FSB, 2 X 2MB Cache
• Genuine MS Windows Vista Premium
• 1GB DDR2 RAM
• 160GB Hard Disk
• Multi-Format Dual Layer DVD RW Drive
• 512MB nVidia GeForce 7500LE Graphics
• 9-In-1 Media Card Reader
• 5 USB Connections

…and a keyboard and mouse of course.

In addition to that, I put some money together with a birthday contribution from Dr B.'s parents, and added a monitor to the lot above. No, not just a monitor; a flat screen monitor with

• 19" Viewable Screen Size
• Widescreen
• 5msec Response Rate
• 300cd/m2 Brightness
• 2000:1 Contrast Ratio
• 1440 x 900 Maximum Resolution
• 370 mm Height
• 435 mm Width
• 226 mm Depth

I have now spent five days mulling over phrase turns and word choices on how best to describe how stunned and impressed I am, where the truth of the matter is quite simply that Dr B. loves me, wants the best for me, is a very generous man with a huge heart, and this time he even went so far as to grant me for the first time the privilege of owning the fastest computer in the house – and that is no mean feat, as we are now a three-desktop, three-laptop household – until he upgrades his machine, that is.

Gentle reader, if our flat gets broken into soon, we know it was you who tipped the burglars.

A synagogue.

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This is the very first dessert I ever made for Dr B. It was Valentine's Day and it was the first time I was cooking for him. The menu made entirely out of Dr Atkins' worst nightmares, also featured breadsticks with Parma ham, and spinach and sweetcorn lasagna.

Ah, those were the days. We had met twelve days before, after having both being single for a while, which means we were able to eat small portions of everything and burn everything off by doing lots of exercise (we were both unemployed and my gym and his Ju-jitsu club were our second homes).

These days we tend to have sugar-free jelly for dessert instead, and I can't remember the last time I made a tiramisu, but here it goes:

Ingredients

• 3 eggs
• a pinch of salt
• 9 tablespoons sugar
• 300g mascarpone cheese
• sponge biscuits (use savoiardi biscuits in Italy, 'biscuits cuillère' in France)
• coffee
• grated dark chocolate
• (optional) rhum

Preparation

1. Make weak coffee (or dilute espresso with water) and let cool a little
2. If you wish, add liqueur to coffee
3. Mix together well the sugar and egg yolks until creamy and white-ish
4. Add the mascarpone cheese and whisk well
5. Add the pinch of salt to the egg whites and whick together until peaks are formed
6. Very slowly and gently fold the whipped egg whites into the yolks/mascarpone mix
7. Dip biscuits into the coffee and place alternate layers of biscuits and cream (starting with biscuits) into a container
8. Finish with a layer of cream
9. Sprinkle the grated dark chocolate on top
10. Chill for at least four hours, best overnight

Our flat, today at 7:15AM

Me (handing over a card I'd scribbled hastily in the loo while having my morning poo): 'Happy Valentine's day!'

Dr B. (looking up sheepishly from his computer desk): 'Oh, crap – is it today? Oops.'

Romance is not dead. Just having a very long snooze, perhaps.

• 'Be my antivalentine' e-cards

A person regarded as insignificant and contemptible.

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A short rope or gasket used for fastening something or securing rigging. A cord worn around the neck for carrying something, such as a knife or whistle.

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A deep red to dark grayish purple.

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A bundle of cut stalks of grain or similar plants bound with straw or twine. A collection of items held or bound together: a sheaf of printouts.

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1. The TV programme Blue Peter is named after the 'blue peter' maritime flag that means the ship is ready to sail. This is because the programme is a journey of discovery and adventure.
2. Signed by The Hits is a tv show where music videos are signed for the hearing impaired, in the morning at 6.30 on The Hits. Some of the sign language interpreters get carried away and boogie like there's no tomorrow.
3. In film, a dutch angle is when the camera is tilted on one side to show uneasiness or tension. Also called Dutch tilt, oblique angle, German angle, or canted angle.
4. Hybrid images change interpretation as a function of viewing distance. Step back from the computer (or remove your glasses) and watch Dr Angry and Mr Smile swap faces.
5. A Swadesh list is a prescribed list of basic vocabulary developed by Morris Swadesh in the 1940-50s, which is used in glottochronology. Swadesh lists comprise around 200 basic words and is based upon the fact that the primary set of concepts learnt in childhood does not vary a lot through times and languages.
6. Windows 7 (formerly known as Blackcomb, and until very recently Windows Vienna) is the new codename for the next version of Windows that will follow the newly-released Vista.
7. Anna Nicole Smith's stepson died unexpectedly eight months ago, just like Anna Nicole Smith's son died unexpectedly five months ago, and Anna Nicole Smith herself died unexpectedly the other day. Uhm, and there are billions of dollars' worth of inheritance at stake…

The sediment in a liquid; lees. Often used in the plural.

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A pad or cushion for an extra rider behind the saddle on a horse or motorcycle. A bicycle or motorcycle saddle.

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A situation in which the price for real estate or land is raised to a higher price than what was previously verbally agreed upon.

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(gôrd, gÅ?rd, gÊŠrd) Any of several trailing or climbing plants related to the pumpkin, squash, and cucumber and bearing fruits with a hard rind. The fruit of such a plant, often of irregular and unusual shape. The dried and hollowed-out shell of one of these fruits, often used as a drinking utensil.

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Last Thursday Dr B. treated me to a show to celebrate our four-year anniversary.

We had decided we were not going to get each other presents (Christmas was a little over a month ago, my birthday is round the corner and then it's Valentine's day) but to go out instead.

So he got tickets to go and see Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre, and I bought dinner. Well, a small box of chocolates, a mini Smarties egg and two Starbucks Grande Caramel Frappuccinos (light, as if it made any difference).

We had both read Overyourhead's short review of the show that said '…just lame. Shame' and so wew were not expecting much.

It turned out it was the best musical we had ever seen. For me at least, it all came together very well, and it was a definite case of the total being far greater than the sum of the parts.

What I thought was particularly well achieved was the way the story wove in and out of The Wizard of Oz, and I was very grateful to Dr B. for making me watch the movie beforehand (I had never seen it until the end). True, that must have been a merit of the book the theatre production is based upon, but transporting it into the contrived medium of a musical was quite an achievement.

So a big thank you to Dr B. for what in fact turned out to be a big anniversary present after all.

Instead, I just got him an exact copy of his current breakfast set, and that was only because he only ever drinks from one favourite cup, and having two means that I won't have to handwash it as often as now in between dishwasher loads.

• My (almost) minute-by-minute account of The Wizard of Oz
• Overyourhead on Wicked
• A photo of Dr B.'s new breakfast set next to the old one
• Book tickets for Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre

One whose domicile lies at an appreciable distance from his or her place of business. A value far from most others in a set of data.

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(Slang) A romantic infatuation.

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Continuing the anniversary theme, here is the main course I cooked for my first Valentine's dinner with Dr B. (twelve days after we met) four years ago.

At the time I served it with a side salad and I made a tiramisu for dessert (we were thin then).

This recipe serves four.

Ingredients

• 1 pack (1 kilo) frozen spinach, finely cut if possible
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 large tin sweetcorn
• butter
• salt and pepper
• 200g grated cheddar cheese
• 1 large pot creme fraiche or double cream
• 1 pack (500g) lasagna sheets, preferably with spinach (green) and pre-cooked (no need to boil first)

Preparation

1. Press garlic and fry in a little butter
2. Add frozen spinach, lower heat, cover and cook until defrosted and hot
3. Add drained sweetcorn and cream
4. Simmer to heat everything up
5. Add half the grated cheese, salt and pepper, and mix through
6. In a baking tin, alternate layers of spinach and pre-cooked lasagna, starting and ending with spinach
7. Top with the rest of the grated cheese
8. Bake until cheese on top is a nice golden colour

(An Irish term of address) Darling.

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1. Swans mate for life but cheat on partners.
2. Kissing reduces chances of cavities.
3. Hybristophiliacs are sexually aroused by people who have committed cruel or outrageous crimes.
4. The bisexual pride flag has pink and blue bands with an overlapping purple one in the middle.
5. Divorce was common in ancient Rome but only became legal in Italy in 1970, and was almost abolished in a referendum in 1974.
6. Male homosexuality is still illegal in the Turkish republic of Northern Cyprus, although no gay man has ben arrested since 2001 and there is a pending law to make it legal.
7. Liu Yang-wan's 86-year marriage to Liu Yung-yang was the longest registered with the Guinness Book of World Records.

(Also philematophobia) fear of kissing.

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To assume financial responsibility for; guarantee against failure. To insure.

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Four years ago today, late one Sunday night at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Dr B. and I met. We have been inseparable ever since.

Four years ago today, I had absolutely no idea of what it is like to be exactly who I am, and to be loved for that very thing, and to believe that it is true. Thank you my love.

You see? Not too good with words when I am bursting with emotion. Let's just scatter some hearts around here for a few days. If you read this via a feed aggregator, please click through to the website and have a look at the 15-year-old in me shouting his love across the web.

A score of zero in tennis or squash.

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A binding agreement; a contract.

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