Diets do not work
If you do not fancy joining me in gazing at my belly button, nobody is forcing you, so please look away now and come back tomorrow.
Now, how is it possible to put on half a pound after dieting for a week?
It is if you cancel all efforts by reaching Sunday afternoon craving bread so much that you tear into a whole large loaf of bread with cheese and houmous, and then have a tub of Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide icecream, just to cleanse your palate. It was lovely, and recent reports of loaves being sabotaged with glass and needles only just made me restrain myself - and chew, for once.
Before that episode set me back, I had stuck to my original pledge to avoid gluten for two weeks, and I thought I had seen some improvements in, erm, the consistency of my output (we're talking texture), but I'm back at square one now.
I refuse to give up though, and I am absolutely positive that the effort I'm putting into this (the planning, and the food shopping, and the cooking and cleaning afterwards) is an investment in health.
Moreover, I feel that I am also taking care of Dr B., and I like that. It is now hard to imagine that he might one day end up like his father, who is overweight and suffers from diabetes, but when I looked at him on Sunday afternoon, lying on the sofa watching a DVD, an empty carton of icecream sitting guiltily on the kitchen counter and a pizza in the fridge ready to be cooked for dinner, I could see his nascent venter morph into his father's protruding pounch.
His dad jests that he can rest his cup of tea on his stomach when he's sitting in front of the telly. I say that's what coffee tables are for.
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