Make mine a protein shake, on the rocks, hold the olive
Been invited to a jolly gathering of like-minded souls tonight after work:
Dear Sir or Madam:
(We value your custom so much that we would have bothered merging this word-processed letter with our address book – if only we knew how to do that)
You have been invited to join our Member's [sic] Party held at [...] on Thursday, 14th July from 18:00 onwards.
(We plan on trying to sell you courses of sunbeds and sessions with our personal trainers)
You have been recognised by the Fitness Team for achieving excellent results and sticking to a regular training regime.
(So, swiping your membership card through our gates several times a week finally pays off, eh?)
Well done!!! You've worked hard and the results are showing.
(However, if you bought our diet supplements you could work less hard with better results. Here, want to try? First one's free)
What does one drink at these gatherings? Because, you see, on Tuesday night I managed to managed to put down three whole jugs of Pimm's with three of my mates while staring rudely at Aiden Shaw two tables away from us.
Although that was in a gay bar and it must have been mixed with diet lemonade.
Thursday 14 July 2005 at 6:19 pm
I wouldn't bother going, if I were you, because if it's "our member's party", they only have one member. Presumably, that member is you, so it could be a bit lonely…
Unless they meant a "members' party", of course…
;-)
Friday 15 July 2005 at 5:53 am
Well spotted Chig - I have now added "[sic]" after the mistake so people won't think it was me!
Sunday 17 July 2005 at 5:42 pm
I never, for one moment, thought it was your mistake. Seriously. Your English is much better than ALL of the people I work with (for example), and they're all English born and bred!