bitful

The last cigarette I smoked was two years ago exactly. A half-cigarette at 7AM to be precise - a helpful trick from Alan Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking to ease withdrawal symptoms on the day you quit.

It has not been particularly easy, but since all the conditions were either right or carefully planned, it was not as hard as it might have been.

It was only once I passed the year cap that I stopped having cravings at the pub, in clubs or at parties.

And only after about a year and a half I started feeling slightly nauseated by the proximity of my next desk neighbour at work after he comes back from one of his ciggie breaks.

A month ago I showered for the first time before going to bed to wash away the smelly consequences of a few hours in a smoky club.

Last night for the very first time I got out of a theatre and did not instinctively reach for my cigarettes - a reflex that smokers will easily identify with (Blythe Spirit, by the way. Most enjoyable Noel Coward at his best, with Penelope Keith in very good form).

Something that still has not left me is the fear of starting smoking again. I has happened a few years ago after staying quit for over a year, when I blew it all in smoke by lighting up a casual, over-confident cigarette at a party.

I still have this recurring dream that I am smoking, and that I have lit up without even realising what I was doing, and in the dream I feel awful.

And frankly I hope this warning dream will never leave me.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 26th, 2005 at 7:00 am and last modified on June 22nd, 2007 at 7:15 am, and is filed under uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.