bitful

It's blody 4am, I bloody had a bloody 2-hour nap and I bloody just got a bloody text message waking me up saying people are already queuing outside bloody Trade (and yes, all of them have tickets) and I should bloody hurry.
This had better be bloody good.

Stop press.
Benjy now rebranded its filter coffee. Big a-board outside the shop asking people why they should pay more across the street (where there's a Starbucks).
White polystyrene cups now decorated with warm brown and blue pattern and a LTC (=Love The Coffee) logo.
Price for a large coffee up 10p to £0.75. Coffee still tasting not [...]

My coffee table:

Shop
Branch
Price
Size (oz)
Price per litre
Mode

Shop
Branch
Price
Size (oz)
Price per litre
Mode

McDonalds
Whitehall
£1.09
12
£3.07
Kenko, machine

Nero
St Martin's Lane
£1.70
16
£3.59
3 espresso shots

Wild Bean Café at BP
Tooting Bec
£1.59
16
£3.36
machine

Costa
Trafalgar Square
£1.95
16
£4.12
espresso

Pret
Villiers St
£1.25
12
£3.52
2 machine shots

Starbucks
Strand
£1.75
16
£3.70
2 machine shots

My gym
Villiers st
0
n.a.
0
filter

Coffee Republic
Strand
£1.75
16
£3.70
3 espresso shots

Benjy
Villiers St
£0.75
16
£1.59
filter

AMT
Neal St
£1.30
12
£3.66
1 espresso shot

'Evil Empire' ;-)
Balham
£1.95
16
£4.12
3 espresso shots

EAT.
Bedford St
£1.60
16
£3.38
filter

Burger King
Charing Cross Station
£1.09
12
£3.07
Nescafé, machine

Carluccio's
Neal St
£1.60
12
£4.51
2 espresso shots

Starbucks
Strand
£1.60
16
£3.38
filter

I'll stick with Nero's. [...]

Parts one, two, three, four, five and six.
Having run out of places to get my coffee, today I visited Pret and Starbucks again, to check how their coffee is made and how many shots there are in a large cup.
This morning: americano at Pret, the Strand. Turns out it's all done by machine, which is [...]

Parts one, two, three, four and five.
Yesterday morning: Burger King, Charing Cross station. £1.09 for a 12oz cup of what is basically Nescafé with a dash of hot water - for the price of a jar of coffee powder.
Yesterday lunchtime: Carluccio's, Neal St, Covent Garden. I had no choice but to try it after hearing [...]

Parts one, two, three and four.
God I miss Nero, but as the Great Icelandic Man used to say, 'I've started so I'll finish'.
Yesterday morning: the coffee chain that I used to work in and that I shall refrain from identifying out of politeness (I think I mentioned here that I used to manage five Korean [...]

6ft (183cm) Inflatable Reindeer. B&Q, £49.98. Anus piercing included. Can be used as a discreet festive keyring.

Stop smirking, Frosty - you might be next!

I guess it had to happen sooner or later: the Which File Extension Are You? quiz (via Tom).

You are .gif
Sometimes you are animated, but usually you just sit there and look pretty.

…and you are also even later for work now!

Parts one, two and three.
Quick, quick, I am late for work! Damn Neil from Comptons and his five year managament birthday last night with all drinks at one pound fifty…
Friday morning: no coffee. No food or drink for two hours after seeing my dentist (of which more later).
Friday lunchtime: no coffee. No time for lunch [...]

Parts one and two
Yesterday morning: filter coffee from the permanent pot at the gym. At 7am this is best described as a lovely near-transparent weak brew that my Frensh shum Anne would call 'Jus de chaussettes' (socks juice). Unfortunately, should you visit the gym after work you are almost guaranteed to find the exact same [...]

First part here.
Yesterday morning: Pret, Trafalgar square. 1 pound 25 pence for similar size (as far as I could tell - I left the empty cup at work so I can't check now). Plus: there's only one size, and only one price, for "Coffee: filter or americano". Unfortunately, there also seems to be one kind [...]

My two absolutely most worstest traits of my character are Procrastination and Perfectionism. The result? If I could have it my way, things would never get done.
So I'm just going to go ahead, OK?
NB: for the purpose of the coffee-tasting experiment I am going to stop using mouthwash. I apologise for those who come into [...]

Still around. Never went away.
Just a couple of weeks of intensive work towards a deadline - which in the public sector, I just found out, means "You decide to go live with the redesigned websites whenever you are ready. Tuesday? In three weeks time? Might be a bit too early, are you sure you can [...]

Mini-Minogue: unit of time, corresponds to the duration of Dannii's new single You Won't Forget About Me.

Best used on repeat, as in "The walk from my front door to the tube station is just a little over two Mini-Minogues", or "I had a fantastic workout yesterday, and I ended with a seven-Mini-Minogues run".
Nano-Lena: unit of [...]

Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be… arrested!
Stroke of genius. Serves them right. However entertaining, I am not sure the proceedings should be screened though (from - yes, you guessed it - Five).

Rushing through Trafalgar Square yesterday lunchtime to grab a cup of coffee, I saw a bright yellow unfamiliar blotch on my left. Bananas?

Yes, bananas. Loads.

Art, apparently.

G.I. hunk came to see us again yesterday at work, planning to upgrade the operating system on my computer.
Once again, he could not work on my machine, and he dismissed me by saying "I'll have to do you some other time - you are a different build, and I need special equipment" (Oooh matron).
Bloody teaser.