bitful

This interesting article on film-strip rollovers happens to mention Apple's HyperCard - the single application that provided me with months of pixel-perfect smut in the early nineties.

I used to make my own gay porn, you see. I would start by drawing copying outlines of men's bodies from magazines onto white paper, then draw the details, [...]

I am in love.

Meet my new boyfriend.

His name is Maxx. Mr Diesel to you. And he's not suitable for office viewing, since you asked.

I'm sure Dr B. will understand.

Yesterday was the last day at work for the other temps in the web production team.

I was the only one to have the contract extended until mid May.

Who's a clever boy then?

Just back from David's surprise 40th birthday party.

Yes the lighting at The Far Side was exceptionally kind, and yes I had five pints of lager, but I swear he does not look a day over 35. And has very good looking friends.

There was cake. Cake is now on my hips, on top of the [...]

The last few hours in Italy were a bit of an emotional rollercoaster in which the country revealed its true passionate nature as if it was trying to say goodbye to us properly.

I was very tense in the morning. Too much coffee and trying to accept the fact that there was not enough time to [...]

Mother had instructed the lady who takes care of the house while she's away to make two beds for us, but I slept with Dr B. in a double bed in my old bedroom.

Today as I started packing to go back to London I wondered if I shouldn't perhaps unmake the other bed, to avoid [...]

Miramare castle yesterday morning. Several coachfuls of loud Italian teenagers on school trips (the same ones who walk arm in arm in rows of twelve down Oxford street). Asked the local tropical park attendant about the exhibition and said we would not be able to go because my mother can't walk very far and climb [...]

"One of the best meals of my life", said Dr B.

At fifty Euros each, I'm not bloody surprised.

True, the same money would have bought us a soggy pizza and a carton of cooking wine in London. And there would have been a clause in small print on the menu stating that the meal needs to [...]

Ciao from sunny wind-swept and pissing down with rain (once again) North-East Italy.

Landed ten minutes early after a pretty smooth flight, the highlight of which was having to eat our lovely Pret salads with our fingers, having wrongly expected the till guys at the airport (one to pick up our items, say the name out [...]

It's day 46 in the Big Brother house that is the office I work in.

My contract was going to last until the website went live, which was supposed to be yesterday, but it's been postponed to next Tuesday. Not my fault, I would like to point out.

As Dr B. and I are leaving tomorrow for [...]

There are two types of day, clothes-wise: days when it takes you five minutes to pick out your outfit and get dressed, and you feel fantastic all day, and days when you ponder half a dozen choices for the best part of a missed lie-in, only to feel uncomfortable and frumpy all day.

Yesterday fell into [...]

I finally found some time last night to catch up with the pile of weekend supplements by the side of my bed (I find it an insult to writers of any kind to just throw away unread papers without at least skimming through them rapidly) and blooming It-girl Victoria (commonly known as "Plum") Sykes was [...]

There was a woman at the gym this morning who looked strikingly like Charlize Theron. I almost went up to her to ask her if she actually was Charlize Theron, or at least to ask her if anybody's ever told her that bears an amazing resemblance to her.

Then I realized she looked like Charlize Theron [...]

I have booked a table for four at one of my favourite restaurants for my mother, my brother who is turning fifty, Dr B. and myself.

There is no menu on the restaurant's website. I wonder if they serve those lovely sausages Dr B. was so fond of during our last trip in the area. Not.

In my own amateurishly simplified pseudo-psycho-babble terms: our subconscious is supposed to shelter us from potentially harmful information while dreaming, by replacing obvious references with cryptic hints that just about seep through without us realising, right?

Well, the other night I dreamt that my phone rang, and the name of a guy I met on Easter [...]

Last night I was already in bed when Dr B. called out from the other room: "What book that was published more than fifty years ago do you think I should read?". Pride and Prejudice, I replied.

A short while later he joined me in bed with his iPAQ, on which he had downloaded Jane Austen's [...]

Snoring is apparently made worse by

alcohol (I've been told that in my case it's the opposite, but that could simply be because if I'm shiitfaced, Dr B.'s probably too dogarsed to notice me snore)
sleeping tablets (my only sleeping aid is a boring book - never fails to knock me out in five minutes flat)
smoking (given [...]

There's this mate of mine, you see, he had what he thought was a fulfilling developing relationship. For the first time in his life he knew that, given the necessary care and attention, it could develop into the sort of partnership he could only dream about before.

The thing is, my friend has always had trouble [...]

From Fraud trial looms for Berlusconi on the BBC News website:

"A close associate of the premier, Cesare Previti, was cleared of charges of bribery, but received a five-year sentence for putting cash in the pocket of a Rome judge to maintain friendly relations."

I might not be aware of the full implications and the specific circumstances, [...]

WANTED: cheap second-hand Freeview box - 15 quid max, because:

I like watching the Eurovision Song Contest.
Dr B. could not care less about it, no, that's not right, what did he say the other day? Oh yes, he is "actively against it".
I go to the Retro Bar on the first Thursday of the month and sing [...]

For a fraction of a second I considered grabbing a colleague's iPod and making a run with it.

That would not have been stealing at all.

"Oh yes, it would!"

Oh no, it wouldn't! I would have simply rescued a forlorn orphan instead. His inconsiderate and clearly unfit daddy had taken a long lunch break and left the [...]

Met a friend's friend at the RVT. Pretty face. Started talking of the usual gay things: clubs, Gaydar, Kath & Kim.

Conversation inevitably slided into K&K quote mode:

[The following was exchanged with a pretend Aussie accent - which in my case comes out inexplicably as a twang reminiscent of the suburbs of Bombay]
Dr B. - "Mam? [...]

Today I can't wait to go home, snuggle up in bed and finish Dead Famous. It's got more to do with exhaustion from spending most of yesterday at the playground making new friends (hello Ryan!) than with the book being a good read.

I'm normally not one to be thrilled by murder mysteries; last week I [...]

Eating what you pull out of your nose is good for you.

Dr B. is trying to learn some Italian to communicate with the in-laws during our next trip. I'm touched by the effort, and I've covered his flat with post-its with the names of things to help him build his vocabulary.

I've also tried to stick a few on my flatmate's cat, the Queen of England and [...]

Please, please, please - nobody dare let Aleksandra (one half of the Aleksandra & Konstantin duo representing Belarus at the next Eurovision Song Contest) get a language coach between now and the qualifying round.

Her English pronunciation is extraordinary and indescribable: at first it makes you think it's Belarusian (aka White Russian), then you go "well, [...]

Big Block Letter Heading on one of the magazines next to the checkout last night at the local supermarket:

"Kylie buys pregnancy test!" (or something along those lines)

Next to it, a picture of Olivier Martinez next to a white-paper-bag-clutching Kylie. Because, if you're Kylie Minogue, you use a common pharmacy test. And you go purchase it [...]

Retro bar, 7.30 onwards tonight: Eurovision Song Contest preview party, with all 36 videos for this year's entries, and voting, and Chig, and (maybe) Marcus, and refreshments (read: rivers of lager).

I'll be the naff one singing along to ALL the songs. Practicing my Estonian as I type (for all I know the lyrics could be [...]

On Plasticbag:

"…don't clean until your house is clean, instead merely allocate time to the cleaning process and clean until that time is over whether you finish or not."
[...]
"…I would clean in a high-impact fashion for no more and no less than precisely one hour. I created an iTunes playlist full of motivational music…"

Due to the [...]

At last, a one-stop fool-proof way to say ta-ta to incomplete directories, recently updated lists and rss feed readers: with Kinja I am finally able to gather excerpts from the latest posts of all my favourite weblogs on one page.

It can be set up in a matter of minutes and, although it can be used [...]