bitful

The countries in red are those I've ever set foot into. Not a lot, I know, but have you ever been to Liechtenstein? I crossed it. Walked through it. Took me a whole afternoon.

Of course I have not been to Alaska; there simply was no option for "New York + Atlantic City + Boston [...]

Subversive embroidery as anger management therapy: putting the cross back in cross stitch.

[via anarChic]

Atomic split?

The kittens need to take time out, deny a long-term break-up, announce the release of a forthcoming greatest hits album, and plan to concentrate on their solo careers.

Three times as much poop on the music market, then.

Hit that penguin!

Click anywhere and the penguin drops.
Click again to swing the bat to hit it.

C-c-cold…

"Are you tired of struggling with slipping straps and bulky pads?"

Erm, not really, no. Until I saw this stick-on bra that promises to give me a

"soft ad [sic] natural seamless strapless breast form shape".

Ok, I just want to see what the "Bonus: Custom Storage Container" looks like. My guess would be… tit-shaped?

I am not one who shies away from unconventional dress sense, be it half a foot roll-ups on my calf-length jeans or pinstripe trousers tucked into 80's legwarmers, paired up with a golf cap (it seemed like a good idea at the time), but seriously, UGG boots? I'll admit they look stunning on Kate Moss' [...]

From the Secret Diaries of Liza Minnelli (unauthorized):

"I remember lying there in the hospital recovering from the insertion of one of my new hips, chatting with the Pet Shop Boys, who had produced my latest album. "Boys," I said, "you're young, you're talented, you're hot! Now get out there and knock 'em dead!" And as [...]

When the officer welcomed me with a smile, I could not believe my eyes. I checked around me and the bands of brightly coloured nylon confirmed that yes, I was at the Job Centre indeed.

She asked me about my skills and joked while going out of her way to find suitable offers for me. She [...]

Maaad cow. Foul language. Moo.

Pasteurise that, bitch!

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Downloading of Movies, MP3s and Software is illegal and punishable by law.
We hereby inform you that your computer was scanned under the IP 62.241.246.219 . The contents of your computer were confiscated as an evidence, and you will be indicated.
In the next days you will receive the charge in writing.
In the Reference code: [...]

Hold me, I'll give you all that you need
Wrap your love around me
You're so excited,
I can feel you getting hotter, oh baby
[...]
When you are next to me, (Oooo)
Oh, I come alive (yeah)
Your love hurts inside (Oooo)
Oh, it feels so right (Yeah)

Girls Aloud - Jump (For My Love)

Have the lyrics been especially rewritten for the Noughties [...]

Microsoft sues Canadian 17 year old Mike Rowe and asks for his domain Mike Rowe Soft to be transfered over because it is a homophone of Bill Gates' little business.

[a homophone is not a premium rate same sex chat line, in case you are wondering]

The British Phonographic Industry has announced it may sue UK song-swappers.

Shall I start looking around for a good lawyer? Harry Hamlin in LA Law will do nicely thank you very much.

I can't remember where I read (Guardian Online perhaps?) about someone who burned all his illegally downloaded files on CDs and sent them to the [...]

The Italian consulate in London provides an excellent passport service: you just go there with two photos and they issue it (or renew it if that's the case) while you wait.

What they do not tell you is that the wait is so long that I ended up spending half a day there on Monday.

Half-way through [...]

I love bread. I could bite your hand to get to the last slice. I could live on it alone - in fact, I lived on it for a while in Paris (bread and camembert cheese dipped in milky coffee - don't cringe if you have not tried it).

I love bread so much that last [...]

The epitome of good taste: a magnet shaped like one of those Amsterdam column things, made to resemble a yellow cock surrounded by tulips.

Classy. I have no idea how it got on our fridge though. Must question flatmate.

[click on thumbnail for full view]

Mr Silvio "no matter what I say, I can always excuse myself saying that I meant it as a joke" Berlusconi has not been seen around for a couple of weeks.

People were starting to fear an episode of ill-health à la Blair. Yesterday his surgeon (who is at the same time mayor of a town, [...]

Just noticed on Iceland's pack of "5 (Average) skinless & boneless chicken breast fillets" (frozen, 615g, buy one get one free, £4.99):

with added water for succulence

I suppose they find it appetite-whetting to watch a piece of meat shrink to half its size in the pan.

Bloody cheek.

If you are one of the millions of people who took out gym memberships after the holidays, and your motivation is already failing you, I recommend you to boost it by looking at this man and especially his gallery of weekly frontal pictures that witness his transformation from flab to fab (via an unfortunate bleached [...]

I am not averse to wearing some stranger's discarded clothes that I pick up from charity shops - there's nothing a good boiling in the washing machine will not get rid of.

I used to draw the line at stepping into other people's shoes, especially as it is rather difficult to find one's exact size - [...]

Don't you just want to lick it?

At last an iPod with a smaller hard drive than my laptop.

Available worldwide from April.

I shall now greedily search for ways to have my birthday officially moved back a couple of months.

I could indulge in a lengthy narration on how last week I was taken to hospital again (Watford Central, this time - lovely baby blue walls, and nasty nurse who shaved one square bald patch on each of my pecs and smeared them with lube without asking me permission - what if I was a [...]

What opportunity is available to homosexual - and unmarried heterosexual - couples in France, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Portugal, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Luxembourg and in the Spanish regions of Catalunya, Aragona and Navarra (and will shortly be in the United Kingdom, Switzerland and Croatia), but not in Italy?

The screams you can hear in [...]