bitful

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you"

Winnie the Pooh

…which means you should therefore wish your partner to witness your death and go through the loss / grief / coping, instead of you. Nice.

Selfish bastard bear. The world of [...]

Let's see if I got this right: S Club (formerly known as S Club 7) have split up, and S Club Juniors are now called S Club 8. I am sure new young hopefuls are being cultivated in fields, Matrix-style, to fill the empty juniors slot.

I wonder what the S stands for. A certain four-letter [...]

And I thought Pensacola was some sort of soda.

Fantastic. A two-in-one device that makes you stop snoring and gears you up for rough S&M action at the same time. At nearly $60, a dog muzzle would be cheaper and probably have the same effect.
Nevertheless, when all else fails… Does it come in black leather with red trimming and studs?

Coming soon at a newsagent / pharmacy near you: Wrigley's Viagra gum (via Jonno).

I wonder what shape the bubbles will be.

Oh, the wonders of the human mind. The weirdness of mine, at least. I have just downloaded Frances Ruffelle's Lonely Symphony (We Will Be Free) - the UK entry for the 1994 Eurovision Song Contest. I had not listened to it since 1994 or early 1995 at the latest - I had videod the contest [...]

Simon Swears. Via Overyourhead.

Hehehe I feel like I'm five again.

C**T
C**T S**T
C**T S**T S**T
C**T S**T S**T B*****D
C**T S**T S**T B*****D C**T
C**T S**T S**T B*****D C**T F**K.

Hehehe.

Aah. It's good how you can rely on some things almost like clockwork. Like for example today being Friday the 13th. Like for instance having good old Diamond Geezer remind you of it first thing in the morning, in his trademark sweet anorak way.

Today's not the best day for walking under ladders then. Nor for [...]

I do not get it. Nicecupofteaandasitdown.com has been around for ages. I probably got there via Dave.

Why was it then all over the news yesterday? The BBC's one o'clock news (with website creator Stewart Payne discussing holes in bourbons, latticework on custard creams and how fig rolls are extruded as one big long thing and [...]

News just in from this week's Popbitch email newsletter:

Jenny Frost from Atomic Kitten has been ordered by her doctor not to sing for a month. Good man!

From The English-To-American Dictionary:

I was recently in Europe for the second time in six months (*shudder* - how could I write that, after belittling those Brits who use the expression "in Europe" to indicate some remote land where things don't work, people "speak foreign" and you risk being run over constantly because 1. they drive on the wrong [...]

How to use Japanese-style toilets. How to bow with the three breaths method. How to properly exchange business cards with the Japanese.

With these tips (and the past three weeks he spent widening his technical horizons) Dr Bitful's third and final interview with the Japanese bank today will be a success, and I'll spend the rest [...]

Ms Hylton is back. Shoo-up shoo-up shoo-up. You can download Javine's debut single Real Things from mp3sfinder.com.

Boots Alternatives Snoring Remedy: "Effective in reducing snoring for 4 out of 5 users". I must be user #5. At least it gives me a lovely fresh eucalyptus breath.

Snoreeze Instant Snoring Relief: "Effective in 9/10 cases". I'm in the remaining 10% for whom its impressive Advanced Liposome Formula does zilch.

BreatheRight Nasal Strips: "…Reduces Snoring". Or [...]

Paris, June 6th 2003 / Palais Royal:

Flash movie (1.9 MB) by Bruno Bozzetto on how Italy differs from the rest of Europe.

Having lived there recently for a while, I found this animation spot on, self-ironic, even moving at times. And hilarious.

I miss Italy as you can miss a toothache. No offense, some of my best friends are Italian. It's not the [...]

Leaving for Paris tonight, spending four nights in a row with Dr Bitful, therefore stocked up on:

- Boots Alternatives Snoring Remedy: £8.99 for a 6 week supply;
- BreatheRight Nasal Strips: £5.99 for 10;
- Tesco's Decongestant capsules: £1.09 for 16,

which means that each night I sleep with Dr Bitful costs me 95p, unless I intend to [...]

I am definitely not in touch any longer with "the vibe". How else could I have been ignoring the buzz regarding the launch of new boy-band Phixx, made up of the male Popstars: the Rivals losers?

Their first single is set to be a cover of Prince hit Gett (sic) Off. Exciting.

Lovely Mikey, who provoked many [...]

A friend sent me the "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb" email.
Full text below, if you are so inclined - it's a bit long, so let me first share the conclusion with you:

Dogs have masters.
Cats have staff.

So darn true.

HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
GOLDEN [...]

"I have conquered an empire
but I have not been able to conquer myself"
Peter the Great, Tsar of Russia

"I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me"
Charlene, one hit wonder

Feeling poorly this morning. Must be the pint of vodka and lemonade (seven parts vodka, two parts diet lemonade, one part month-old stale water that was left in the bottle) I had to quickly down yesterday when I realized that the water bottle I had smuggled it in was different from the water they now [...]

I've just listened to an advance illegally downloaded copy of Dave Gahan's (Depeche Mode's frontman) first solo album, courtesy of my friends in high places Kazaa. Paper Monsters sounds like the less electronic material DM has recently released.

One of Dave Gahan's two London gigs next July is already sold out. Can he really hold a [...]