bitful

"Some of my more illuminating conversations have been with vegetables"
"I have had the odd banter with a brassica."
His favourite confidant is a runner bean, "because runner beans don't run off to the Press".

Yes, that's our tree-hugging prince, future king of the vegetable patch, who today published his accounts for the first time to prove that [...]

Update on the mysterious rotation massage technique for pets I enquired about yesterday: it's called Ttouch and will be featured on Talking to the Animals, an animal psychology TV series about pets with behavioural problems. Buffy actor Tony Head (Rupert Giles) will join his partner Sarah Fisher (a qualified practitioner) in the programme which

"will follow [...]

I would like to give yoga a try. There are a few classes each week at my gym, but the only one for beginners is held on Sundays at half past three - right before my weekly frolic at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.

Somehow it does not feel right: from 3:30 to 4:30 my body is [...]

Has anybody got any info about some sort of special relaxation technique for pets that is performed by doing mini massages with a rotation of one and a quarter turns on your stressed furry companion? Dr B. claims he saw a feature about it on Richard & Judy or somewhere, and has been trying it [...]

This is what the UK Big Brother narrator looks like. (Sound file included if you are not familiar with his voice)

Dr B. - Hallo?
Me - Hi, it's me.
Dr B. - Oh, hello me!
Me - Do you want to watch Cheryl Baker break her ankle?
Dr B. - What? Sure, why not.
Me - Put on ITV then - I read somewhere that she is going to be thrown off a plane for charity, and fracture her ankle [...]

I had to work out without my minidisc player yesterday for the first time, as I had forgotten to recharge its battery. I therefore found out two rather interesting facts about myself:

1. I concentrate much better on what I am doing without the music - it is not that smart to try and match Dannii's [...]

Baby new potatoes. Dr B. just told me I have baby new potatoes instead of toes.

The sad bit is that he is absolutely right. My feet are not exactly what you would call slender or suave. So when a friend of his was showing off his new shoes the other day, and said he usually [...]

Last night I went to watch my man throw other men about and strut around looking very butch.

"What do you mean martial arts do not have cheerleaders? I spent the whole afternoon making my pom-poms out of shredded plastic bags!"

Next time I am taking my knitting with me.

Got tickets for His Girl Friday at the National Theatre for ten pounds yesterday. Thanks to Invisible Stranger for the info on cheap tickets and the positive review.

Wednesday is the only night in the week Dr B. and I are both available. The earliest cheap and well-placed seats in the system were in late September. [...]

Shall we meet at eight then?

Well, it depends: Coordinated universal time, International atomic time, GPS time or Greenwich mean time? And let's not forget Internet time, that Swatch-sponsored gimmic that failed to catch on.

As the earth spin slower, extra seconds need to be added every now and then. Fair enough. The problem is that not [...]

Blogger, schmogger.

New platform, new layout, married to Google now, but I still can't republish my archives. Their little hamster spins in the wheel for over half an hour, then I get a transfer error that reads "Publishing is in progress. Please check back shortly" - and I am not able to post anything new.

If you [...]

In between writing novels, George Orwell also found some time to delight the nation with an eleven-step set of instructions on how to make A Nice Cup of Tea. He was a 'milk in last' man.

A team of scientists has worked on a three-year study which results were officially presented on Tuesday at the Royal [...]

It was only a hopeless fancy
It passed like an April day,
But a look and a word and the dreams they stirred
They have stolen my heart away!
They say that time heals all things,
They say you can always forget;
But the smiles and the tears across the years
They twist my heart-strings yet!

[George Orwell (b. June 25, 1903), Nineteen [...]

The late Princess Diana is to guest-star in X-Men spin-off. She is resurrected for the X-Statix comic and the superheros have to rescue her from a "nasty crew of mutant Euro-trash dead set on sending her back where she came from".

Ring a bell, anyone?

Damn.

Damn damn damn damn damn.

I was so proud of myself: I was doing so well. One month into Big Brother and I knew absolutely nothing about it, apart from the fact that the housemates spent most of their time screaming (from what I could hear from the telly in the lounge every night from ten [...]

Hallo to you new readers. You, who've landed here in the last few hours looking for suburban bums (quite a mouthful with the alliteration), a home recipe to get ride (sic) of blackheads (uhm, squeeze them out?), beckham gay feet david (is that his nickname?) and a cock of the walk (and cream of the [...]

A big thanks to my Swedish friend who made me a minidisc with Alcazar's latest - the imaginavely titled "Alcazarized".
Not A Sinner, Nor A Saint, which failed to win the Melodifestival to represent Sweden to the Eurovision Song Contest, is on it, alongside little gems such as I Go Shopping (You broke my heart / [...]

Went to IKEA with Dr B purely to satisfy a sudden urge for Swedish meatballs. We approached the blue and yellow warehouse and saw that the entrance had been moved to the side of the building. We got closer and read some ominous signs announcing current refurbishments to accommodate… a new restaurant and coffee area! [...]

VDSL
Very high bit-rate DSL
52 Megabits per second
The stuff my dreams are made of
Oh little modem of mine, keep dialing up for now.

6am and fourth cup of tea. Getting engrossed in Kill Your Boyfriend, GeekSlut and The Tard Blog. Downloading Gioca Jouer. Looking forward to stepping with Eva. Considering going to the Walk for Life, or checking with Marcus if he wants to do the Vauxhall later today, or both.

I love early summer mornings, when it's light [...]

Do not download, buy or listen to Fast Food Song by Fast Food Rockers. Especially at 5am on a sleepless Sunday morning. It will haunt you forever.

"Does anyone fancy a shake? Shake it to the left - Shake it to the right" (geddit?)

One last thing on Will Windsor: as most newspaper today carried the headline

"William: I want to be like my mother",

one cannot but wonder what exactly he wants to be: dead? A gay icon? Friends with Elton John? Dating an multimillionaire? Bulimic? Wearing high heels and Versace dresses?

Prince William is 21 today. Today is June 21st. Prince William was born at 21:03 BST.

Potter 5 is out today. It has 768 pages. 13 million copies have already been printed.

I care for neither. Can we resume normal news bulletins now please?

I do care that tonight at 21:21 the sun is going to set in [...]

Double pleasure in reading the adventures of a spam recipient who decided to take on one of the many African email scammers and have a bit of fun at his expense (via Troubled Diva via Groc). Scroll down to "Completed scams…" and click on "Mupesa Solomon": it's the best.

The unexpected educational side derived from finding [...]

Blondie have got a new album out later this year (and they are touring the UK in November). Surely by now "The Curse Of Blondie" must have leaked on Kazaa? Nope. Nothing, not even the first single Good Boys (which is praised by Popbitch, especially the Giorgio Moroder remix, and is scheduled to be released [...]

I cannot believe it. The woman I was madly in love with when I was four years old, the patron saint of Italian gay men, the first ever to show her belly button on TV in the early Seventies, the signature bleached bob that launched countless trash TV programs, is 60 today. And I only [...]

Latest addiction: playing Snake II on my mobile phone - every single spare minute. A pastime which is especially enjoyed while walking in the street, with headphones on to drown the traffic with music, checking every now and then with the corner of my eye if there are cars approaching before crossing the road.

This has [...]

Physics lesson learnt on a hot Sunday afternoon drinking with fellow bloggers, active and reformed:

"the solubility of a gas is inversely proportional to temperature"

(courtesy of Dr Bitful)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why opening a can of frozen beer usually makes a fine mess.