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Bored with Big Brother 4 already? Then do like I did.

Stick a tape in the VCR on Friday at 8.30pm, set it on Channel 4 and turn the TV off. Remember, you have a life.

Spend part of the evening chatting you your flatmate, then take a shower and go out.

Spend a few hours at Dirty Dishes, be welcomed by the Dannii/Madonna mix, wonder if you're in the right place when they play Don't Tell Me (dirty latin sounds anyone?).

Be (easily) convinced flatmate to join him at A:M, "come on, just for old time's sake, remember, we used to do it every Saturday morning" - "Yes I remember, and I also remember I stopped because I could not take it anymore".

Spend another few hours gyrating on the floor and admiring flatmate's friend brand new 300ml x 2 boob job (good grief, she's only 19, but she's Brazilian so I suppose it was almost expected of her to go for it).

Get home at 8, cook a fry-up and rewind the Big Brother tape. Watch a bit, then fall asleep. Wake up, rewind, watch another bit, fall asleep again. Wake up, watch some more, realize you've skipped a good half hour, rewind and fall asleep. Wake up, start watching from the beginning, fall asleep.

Repeat from start on the following night for the Eurovision Song Contest.

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