sting
I went to get my results yesterday. Important things first, all seems to be well in the Little Me department. Phew. Moreover, I do not have anything to do any longer with the Clinic for Sexual Health from Hell. Hurray! But boy did they make an effort to make the experience memorable till the end.
Dr Bitful wanted to come along with me to check just how bad the place was. Remember, I'd changed the appointment for the results to the weekly gay afternoon, once I found out that I'd attended the clinic during "un-gay" times. Well, there was no difference whatsoever, apart from the fact that instead of one scared gay man getting depressed by the grim environment, there were five. When my name was called by a young female doctor, I thought things were looking up, but then she felt the need to crack a stupid joke about the fact that I only gave my first name, exactly like her colleague did two weeks ago. I wonder if that's a rule written in some sort of best practice document. Last time the joke was "Ooh, you've only given us your first name, but we know everything about you, you know - we have our informers". Excuse me, you what? Yesterday I was met with a "Ooh, what's with the single name? Is it like, what, Sting or something?". Boom boom.Couldn't my wish to remain anonymous be respected, please? Anyway, once I was told the results (once again, no counselling, no warmth, very clinical and professional yes, but I don't dare thinking how these people deal with breaking bad news - do they make a crappy joke then as well?), the doctor started filling the form to give me the first jab of the Hep A and B vaccinations. Uhm, hellooo? Could I please be consulted on this? Of course I want to be vaccinated, but I usually like to be asked before having needles stuck through my body.
The doctor's swiftness and lack of consideration left me speechless. Literally. Words could not come out, my brain was not able to formulate the simple sentence "No thanks, I am getting the shots somewhere more friendly". I was told to wait outside to be called back for the shots, and I took the opportunity to whisper in Dr Bitful's ear a
It took me a while to calm down, and my first thought was "Right. I want a cigarette". My second thought was "Like hell you're getting a fag, dude". If you're ever so slightly sensitive, or if you need some counselling/reassuring/a smile along with your HIV test (and who doesn't?), please try and avoid going to the Lloyd Clinic at Guy's Hospital.
There. I did not want to name it (I was thought that if you have not got anything nice to say about someone, then don't say anything at all), but they've blown the second chance I'd decided to give them.