bitful

Weeks months go by and I do nothing. Then this afternoon, within the space of a couple of hours, I:

went to the job centre, was redirected to its new location, asked for the forms for a new claim, was shown a telephone and told to press #2. Waited on hold for 20 minutes, then asked [...]

I've been burping fish for about a month now, on an almost regular daily basis. I don't think I've had any fish for a long time and therefore had no idea where that was coming from. Until today, when I burped right in front of the box of extra strength cod liver oil capsules that [...]

Must get blocking out curtains for my bedroom.

Posted by me at six bloody nineteen a:m

Whenever I want to get a bit more serious about my job search, I shave off my goatee: it's quick, easy and does not require any intellectual effort. So I did today, and then found out when I met Dr. Bitful for coffee in between appointments, that he fancied me better with facial hair. That [...]

Oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph
Oomph, oomph, oomph, ha!
Oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph
Oomph, oomph, oomph, pee!
Oomph, oomph, ha, oomph
Oomph, ha, oomph, oomph
Oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph
Taratarataratarataratarataratara

What you see above are the first eight bars of "Happy Birthday" (the Swish Cottage "10 1/2 in." remix)

The Experiment was not entirely unsuccessful. OK, I failed having just one beer and I had three, but I switched to water at 7pm. The interesting twist is that now it's 11, I'm home with a headache and I'm already going to bed with all the signs of a hangover, the night before the morning [...]

If you're one of my (seven) regular readers, do not worry. The disappearance of QuitMeter's "unsmoked cigarettes" counter from the bar above does not mean I've started again. In fact, I've hit the "400 pounds saved" mark on Friday night and am doing quite well, with the occasional craving now and then, but nothing that [...]

Let's randomly select an Italian gay man (quick look around - nobody there - I'll volunteer then) and see if he can go to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern to meet his friends and Dr Bitful, purely on the strength of ordinary still mineral or tap water.
New, sexier CVs are ready, and temp agencies are about [...]

Mon. Re-vamped my CV to give it a 2003 look (open-toe sandals and all) that'll make it more appealing - and managed to fight off depression while looking at my concentrated "resuméd" life.

Tue. Bad allergy-type thing on my eyes (red, puffy and watering), hence no computer work. Should perhaps get myself one of these hay-fever [...]

Dano (Blogger New): "The Blogger platform of the future — today".
Well, after exactly seven minutes of beta testing last night I was stuck with a bug that did not let me publish the archives. Doesn't that sound familiar? Looovely.

Diamond Geezer's visionary future for today's birthday girl.

Like hundreds of thousands of other people, I can enter reminders into my mobile phone. Unlike most of them, I actually do it, occasionally to remind me of an appointment, but more often than not I set up alerts to remind me to look up info on something I've spotted while not in the vicinity [...]

A big thanks to the anonymous Madonna fan who left me a comment here saying that the genuine American Life album is on Kazaa now (look for files with 'www.21stcentury-mp3.com').

I've just downloaded Nothing Fails, that many sources have told me is the greatest Madonna mid-tempo Secret-style ballad / Like A Prayer-gospel song EVAH - and [...]

Is the potbelly the new gay ideal?

Via email from Guy.

It's a squirrel! It's a bunny! It's Squinny©!

At least that's what it looked like last night at The Yard (okay, it was dark, drinks were consumed and my nasty eye infection is back).

This morning it looks more like a tied-up plastic bag with a germ-infected used tissue and a choccy bar wrapper in it.

Oh come [...]

Jonno's Penis Blog Project (via Garoo): match the penis to the blogger!
(Currently #2 on Blogdex)

What is it with spring that makes people tidy up their act? I used to think there always were very logical explanations for it, be it spring cleaning (more light shining through our windows and highlighting the dust and dirt), clean living (to slim down into skimpy bathing suits) or sorting out wardrobes (change of [...]

Cheeky hyphen girls dot com: the official website.

Cheekygirls no hyphen dot co dot uk: a fan page using a redirect service and offering free email. You may now email me at luca at cheekygirls dot co dot uk. Sad, I totally agree.

Cheeky hyphen girls dot co dot uk: a fan page that links to [...]

I went to get my results yesterday. Important things first, all seems to be well in the Little Me department. Phew. Moreover, I do not have anything to do any longer with the Clinic for Sexual Health from Hell. Hurray! But boy did they make an effort to make the experience memorable till the end.

Dr [...]

I'd really like to go to DTPM this Bank Holiday weekend, but the online tickets are sold out, and according to someone at Clone Zone that's the only place where you could buy them.

It's either (shock! horror!) queuing up on the night (in a pitiful state, coming from the Vauxhall Tavern), or going to the [...]

Select a tempo that's slightly under 100 beats per minute. Not too fast - not too slow.

Choose a key, any key, as long as it's minor.

Start with a couple of full orchestra hits, followed by your vocalist saying "ah-ah" (or "oh-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah", or even "baby-baby-baby") through a megaphone.

Break it up with a short silence before making [...]

I was happily skimming through the lyrics of Madonna's forthcoming new album, when I wondered if it had already leaked and could be downloaded from Kazaa. And yes, it had! So I started downloading track #1, went for a walk and let my poor 56k modem huff and puff its way through it.

Imagine my surprise [...]

Today at the gym there was a man that I'm sure goes to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern regularly. I even think I've often spotted him hanging around with a friend acquaintance ex shag of mine.
I had the impression that in between sets he was looking at me too, in a sort of "I know you [...]

Your name is Tricity, you're a duo from Liverpool and you get selected to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. So far, so good.
You are told that there's a British dishwasher company that shares your name, so you change it to Jemini.
You then receive an injuction from the American hip hop artist Jemini [...]

A leggings-clad woman who'd obviously been running the [omitted margarine sponsor] London Marathon was sitting opposite me on the underground train this afternoon, medal hanging from her neck and proud partner holding her hand. It made me feel like training all year and try to enter it in 2004 - then it dawned on me [...]

Today I did it with fifteen women I'd never met before. At once. And one whole hour later I emerged from it completely drenched in sweat, and feeling all glowing outside and tingling inside. I had not realized how much I'd missed it, and I was certainly a bit out of practice, but just like [...]

Picture it: Italy, 1983. A handsome young peasant boy stays up into the wee hours of the morning to watch the Eurovision Song Contest (Italy did not broadcast it live because of its poor ratings appeal - i.e. only me - and a few years ago stopped broadcasting it altogether) and falls in love with [...]

If there's one thing I've learnt during the last 21 days, it's that apparently the most insulting act you can perform against someone in Iraq is to hit them with shoes.

Even the Iraqi information minister said it about Bush and Rumsfeld: "Those only deserve to be hit with shoes" (as quoted on the minister's fan [...]

If I had any money to save, this is what I'd have saved by not smoking during the past six weeks. Due to my present unemployed condition, it's more "300 pounds not spent". Still, it's quite something, and I hope it'll motivate thebrick to last at least as long without cigarettes.
By the way, please welcome [...]

But not the one you're thinking of.

I won a mug and mousemat from the Troubled Diva merchandising range, by doing a sans faute in Mike's Match the Intros competition. Quite unsurprisingly so, if you put together my particularly sharp sense of hearing with ten years of music training and the fact that I seem to [...]