Monthly archive: March 2003

I've been trying to squeeze out of my few remaining brain cells a witty puzzle to celebrate Diamond Geezer's birthday, but I'll admit I could not come up with anything that could match his 7am brainteasers.

I'll go all artsy-fartsy in his honour instead, and take this opportunity to educate my bitful readers with a lesson in contemporary art.

I recently was at the Tate Modern and stopped to contemplate Card Index, Filing Cabinet, Part II, by Hanne Darboven (not dissimilar from Part I, in the thumbnail above (click on it for a full view), which immediately made me think of DG and his fascination with figures, lists and time notation.

In Card-Index Filing Cabinet, Part I, of 1975, Hanne Darboven transcribes periods of time and texts into schematic visual symbols. Composed of 10 panels each containing 30 sheets of paper, the work is a complex system of translating data into visual form. Time as a standardized system is set off against the subjectivity of the artist's hand notations, creating a tension between the concept of time and how it is interpreted by each individual.

[From the Zwirner & Wirth gallery website]

Happy birthday Geezer!

Exhibit A is a Masturbator Sleeve.

Exhibit B belongs to G. the flatmate; it is a novelty item which sole purpose is to slip off your guests' hands amidst much giggling whenever they try and pick it up the coffee table.

Or so I thought until now.

I managed to get my hands listen to an advance leaked and illegally downloaded copy of Dannii Minogue's Neon Nights. Electronic and 80's and dancey-poppy and soooo Kylie but with a 2003 feel to it. Love it love it love it.

I had sort of neutral feelings for la miniMinogue so far (apart from seeing her on stage at Bang! – now G.A.Y. – ca. 1992, plump and singing her unnecessary cover version of Jump To The Beat). I am now told by British friends that she never was, and never will be cool.

Oh well, this won't be the first time that I go for something entirely uncool.

While looking for remixes of I Begin To Wonder, I came across this and many other sites which confirmed my gut feeling that I'd heard and danced to that tune for quite a while already. It was in fact originally released by JCA in 2002 (that is, only a few months ago), which makes Dannii's a cover version (almost identical to the original, it sounds as if they only replaced the vocals).

I knew I could trust my exceptional hearing. Now all my recent miniMinogue excitement and anticipation for her forthcoming album is fading away.

Just heard on Kiss 100 FM: Dannii Minogue's I Begin To Wonder mixed with Dead Or Alive's You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). It works fantastically well. I want it!

It's reassuring to know that their heavy rotation means I'll probably hear it again in 12 minutes.

I think Dr Bitful and I passed the IKEA test with flying colours yesterday.

First and foremost, we have the very same pattern in our visits to the Swedish store: first a trip to the restaurant for some meatballs, gravy and cranberry sauce, then the browsing through the store and finally after checking out, a stop at the hot-dog bar for a veggie dog (for me) that turned out to be vile and an ice-cream (for him, but he let me push the button on the machine that lifts the cone up towards the ice-cream dispenser, then quickly lowers it as it gets filled up).

Then, he did not run away and pretend he did not know me when I grabbed a floor uplighter and performed the dance routine to Sound Of The Underground pretending it to be a microphone stand (you have to know Girls Aloud to get this one, but believe me, it was not a major display of manliness).

And we kissed in a secluded walk-in wardrobe display, before realizing that what we thought was a mirror was in fact a window opening out to the rest of the store.

And he did not flinch when it took me all of fifteen minutes to make up my mind between two identical fitted sheets, one of slighly better quality than the other.

And we made jokes about imaginary IKEA products, the wooden Dilldö being one of our favourite: "Comes in natural, untreated wood – paint it, or, erm… stain it yourself!"

I've got a broad smile on my face today, because:

• I have not had a cigarette in over four days – cold turkey from 30 a day to none – and I have not killed anybody. Yet.
• The sun is shining
• I'm going for drinks at a friend's friend's friend's place in Covent Garden (that's technically gatecrashing), then to the RVT
• I've just discovered Kath & Kim, and Dr Bitful is taping four more episodes for me tonight
• I got a sweet one-month-anniversary card (and Eggs Benedict for breakfast) from Dr Bitful.

Sickening, I know. I sense that something is going to go horribly wrong now, but hey, carpe diem, enjoy life's little pleasures, rejoice in nature, yadda yadda yadda…

Tomorrow is March 3rd. 03/03/03. And "3" is rumoured to be launched on this very appropriate date. I must say that none of their adverts so far make me feel like upgrading my "sensible" mobile phone (as Ian, owning the very same model, described it) so that I can get streaming videos.

I swear I had not seen this when I designed Bitful (if you can call "design" the action of randomly selecting a colour and writing down three lines of code).

From The Guardian Weekend Magazine, Saturday March 1st 2003, page 15, article about Nick Nolte:

The "date rape" drug, GHB, popular apparently with bodybuilders…

…bodybuilders? Am I missing something here?

When Movie Posters Collide. The last one (Spider-Doo) is brilliant!